z

Young Writers Society



Writing Challenge 4/03

by xanthan gum


Wisps of sea air
And looming mountains
Misted with the memories
From the deep halls of mountain kings
Siren voices on the wind
Carry – sweet and hauntingly
Here we are upon the ridge
Wraiths on the edge of a storm, within
Which we linger, moist in breath
Dwindle days of salty dreams

Sigh, the earth, before the morn
Mouthfuls of brackish, timeworn air
Weary, morose mysteries
Still clouded in the setting light
Bewitched upon the tiding soul
A ghostly ship sets sail before
The earth comes to a close

The water is cool and I so cold
The spirit is deep and vast
So caught between the neverlands
and the dying past, a future daunting –
Feet buried here, in sandy shore
But eyes focused on the foreboding

It’s here I slip away


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53 Reviews


Points: 1040
Reviews: 53

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Thu Apr 13, 2006 6:24 pm
Araidne says...



It fits the picture to perfection!Bravo! :whistle:




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Wed Apr 05, 2006 7:27 am
Elizabeth wrote a review...



All these sea terms and mystical creatures and it's so lovely. (though you could have used mermaids an undines and such :P)
I especially like the part about the sirens voices...
God... you took me to the beach and back...
I loved this... I seriously did.

Makes me think how much better other beaches are than the one near my house.




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Points: 18178
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Wed Apr 05, 2006 1:44 am
Firestarter wrote a review...



Oh no! Another entry! I no longer win by default.

I love how your poetry just floats off the tongue in perfect elegance. The last line is awesome, and the rhythm is technically superb as always. The way you convey images is brilliant - I love "mountain kings" and also your verbs, such as "foreboding."





Sometimes wisdom came from strange places, even from giant teenaged goldfish.
— Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena